Looking Back and Moving Forward

Maybe these two are way opposite from each other. Like good news and bad news. But getting into its depth, we will be seeing that life is like this. It is just a matter of how we deal it.

But, the question is how possible it is to look back and then move forward? Quite confusing, right?

Let me take you to my world.

I was raised into a very humble family. Grew up with six other siblings and shared almost everything. Most of the time, we barely had nothing on the table. We did not enjoy the luxuries in life. We did not have new dresses or new pairs of shoes. We had not experienced having costly toys but just enjoyed the surplus from our financially blessed cousins from Manila. We had a hard time getting into college and we did not have immodest allowances when we were in elementary and high school.

My mother was not able to finish her college degree to find a job and support her other siblings until she met my father and got married. She sold fishes in the market and anything and everything to support our growing family. She even worked as a household help in the missionaries apartment when we were younger until in my teens.

Papa, on the other hand, was a tricycle driver but never stopped finishing his degree. Though he was moving so slow in getting his education diploma, still he worked so hard on it. Actually, I admired him so much on his perseverance. He did not allow poverty to stop him from achieving his goal to graduate in college. Despite of his growing years, he pursued on and when he finally graduated, our eldest brother and eldest sister received their diplomas with him in high school and elementary respectively. However, even if he’s already a teacher by profession, his salary was not enough to sustain a wife and seven growing children. So, he opted to working as a property custodian in the chapel for many years.

But his employment in the Church did not last until retirement. My father then applied as a high school teacher. He was hired but was assigned in a very far-flung area reached only by single motorcycles called “habal-habal”. His income was not enough since two of my siblings were already in college and 1 in high school then the other three were in elementary. He was really thinking how his PhP 3000.00 could feed us and how he could send us all to school.

He went to Manila and worked as a guard. Since Papa was a hard-worker and an intelligent man, he was promoted as an officer in just a few months. When he was quite established in Manila, my mother and youngest brother followed and stayed with him.

Notwithstanding the fact that our life was not as what everyone imagined it to be – comfortable and luxurious, I am so grateful because the experiences I had when I was growing up mold me into a stronger person.

The Lord has promised that He wont give us trials that we cannot bear and that all our experiences in life are for our own good and learning.

That sounded so true to me. In all those times, I felt that we were not blessed, I was able to see that Heavenly Father assigned our family to be in this realm. If it would have been another family, we probably would not embrace the gospel that much. We were so dependent on the gospel of Jesus Christ and put our trust on Him that He will carry us safe to the other side.

There were times when my parents were away and I felt like I need a father’s blessing, instead of feeling so lonely and complain about this “poverty” that parted our family, I would kneel and turn to my loving Father in Heaven. The knowledge that we have another Father who is always watching over us and who is always there for us when we need him, gave me an assurance that I could receive that blessing I am asking.

True enough because each time I am weak and feel like complaining, if I only turn to Him in prayer, I could feel His arms around me. Every single trial seemed so easy to handle. I could still decorate my face with a smile despite of the hardships and heartaches. It is because I could feel He’s carrying me from the “not-so-good side” to the other side.

Now, how to look back and move forward?

“Life” is a course in college where each of us is compulsory enrolled. We supported this plan right before we entered our university called “Earth”. Each day in school and in our course, we receive countless lessons from our “Mentors” called “Experiences”. At times, our grades are way up, and at times, way, way low. From there we can see, assess, or evaluate the reasons why we received low marks. Then we find the causes and effects of our scores and take them with us as we go along.

The lessons we get from our Mentors will now serve as a guiding ray as we move on to life. Looking back for the “Lessons” we learned and moving forward with those “Lessons” to make sure not to commit the same mistakes again.

Like this one lesson I’ve learned… “The world won’t stop revolving for your grief.” Life has to move on. Be optimistic. Turn lemons to lemonade that you may not grow old too fast. Accept trials as they come and face them with cheer! Haha!

You will see that life is fun when you look back and move forward!

Now, I was able to elevate myself way up few levels from poverty with a job that Heavenly Father has blessed me with. A job I didn't apply. I can buy new dresses, new pairs of shoes, go out with my parents and dine in to restaurants. I can buy toys to my nephews and nieces. I am not yet a millionaire though but I am happy because I have my family with me. We still have our faith and trust in God. We still are in the Church and serving our various callings. We still experience rough times but the strength we have gotten from the tests we had in the past is firm enough to face a new level of challenges.

The good thing is we know Heavenly Father is always ready to give us aid… We just have to call Him and tell Him when.