When Money is the Barometer of your Faith

One Sunday, Mama was sick so she is not going to Church. I also felt like so sick… and so down thinking about life and the struggles I am facing lately. And with me focusing on those things, I felt like I’m getting sick as well. My heart became so heavy. It seemed like it’s going to burst and tears started to fall. I had to run and find my place in the bathroom where I could fully turn the water’s knob or something. And there, nobody could hear me sobbing and I could just get a shower after my dramatic act.

But until almost an hour inside the shower, I needed to go out and dress up for church. However, instead of dressing up, I laid down with my Mom and continued with my drama. In short, I was not able to attend Church meetings.

When Papa came, he asked me why I didn’t go to Church. I responded that I decided to attend Mama’s needs. Then jokingly I said, I had no money for fare going to Church. I could not tell him too about my emotional scene before he got back from Sunday meetings.

I don’t want my parents to feel the pain of my struggles. I want them to enjoy old age and I do everything to let them feel that I am not having a hard time.

With my reasons, Papa told me something that’s really piercing. He’s a teacher by profession and is so good at teaching us gospel principles in various ways. That Sunday he was straightforward, he only asked a couple of questions, “What is the barometer of your faith? Is it Money?” Right there and then, I felt guiltier since I let my emotions stopped me from going to Church. I already know that everytime I felt like not going to Church, the more I should go. It’s a battle between right and wrong. I maybe tested for a countless times but I should not have followed the Lord’s counterfeit and do something wrong.

When money is the barometer of our faith, not a single member of the Church is attending meetings and even magnifying callings would be more difficult.

I repented at once and asked the Father’s forgiveness for allowing the mists of darkness to ruin my choices. Then I recalled one time, asking a friend why he was attending the priesthood meeting. The answer was the same as mine… no fare going to Church. I told him that if there’s a will, there’s always a way as the old saying goes. That if he really wanted to go to Church, he can do something about it. Now, I couldn’t believe that I am telling this to myself.

The whole night I spent assessing myself and then recommitting to the Lord the things that I should be doing as His disciple. I knew that life is full of challenges and I accepted it way, way before but have forgotten my vows when winds few blows come.

Before I totally lost my consciousness and be carried away by my sleepy head, I have learned and re-learned countless lessons in life.

The Lord has never left us. It is always “us” who went our own way, not Him leaving us. He is watching over us all the time. He is always ready to rescue us every time we need Him and no matter how heavy are our burdens, He can always lighten our load. He always carries the weightier part of our spiritual and emotional loads. And even if we feel so down and so lonely, He comes to our rescue everytime. He always wants us to be happy.

So… when you feel that your cup of faith is running out, turn to the Lord always for refill and your cup will always be full, or at most, run over.

Are you asking me if money is the barometer of my faith? Of course, not! At least, not anymore. I have repented and please forgive me for giving my human nature the empowerment to ruin part of my faith. I don’t want to feel that guilty again.

I know better now. Thanks, Pa!